When Love Doesn’t Work

What do you do when you have been kind and gracious to someone, and they are not kind to you  What about that loved one who needs to change their ways, yet they seem to remain unchanged even though you have tried showering them with love?

My answer is this.  There are two choices.  We can remain on the course of lovingkindness, or we can change tactics and behave in ways that are not loving.  I would recommend love.

No matter how the person responds, love can be its own reward.  To me, it feels good to be gracious.  Grace, by definition, is the extension of kindness where it doesn't appear to be deserved.  The one operating in grace is the mature one, the adult in the room.  

It helps me to remember that the people we are speaking of have issues that are causing them to feel angry, frustrated, and afraid.  They obviously are not feeling very good about themselves.  Empathy and understanding gives us good motivation to give grace no matter what they might think of us.  We need not fear being a doormat.  Instead, we can take the mindset of being an elevator that lifts people on our strong, grace-filled shoulders.

While most of us love that we receive grace from God, I have found that another great thing about grace is not in just the receiving of it, but also in learning to give it.

I've enjoyed the practice of this for quite some time now, but there was one instance where I had left it undone for many years.  An offence had occurred, and I felt that I truly forgave this person in my heart, but I had not seen him since the offence happened, so I never extended grace personally.

It just felt like a loose end in my life that I often ignored, but it was always there.  I finally made a point to go to him and let him know I had nothing against him.  He did the same for me, and it was a very nice time.  

It feels so good to know that I did not wait until it was too late do this.  I think it would have been a little regret that I carried.  Grace is really a beautiful thing, whether it's reciprocated or not, and one of the best feelings is knowing that you've given it and you are a part of making the world a little bit brighter.

Ultimately, the whole world will shine with this one day.  It's where we are headed.

Shine on!